Day 25

Yesterday I bumped up to 50mg of Sertraline/Zoloft

Reluctantly. Even more reluctantly, I took 1/2 a Clonazepam to help ease my anxiety and get a good night worth of sleep. The first day I had no real major side-effects. I did have a headache (not sure if it was the drugs), except for a feeling of inner zitteryness I can't really explain. Like I had drank too much coffee. And then a couple times I caught myself staring off into space.

Today is the 2nd day of taking the full pill. My doctor thought that going up to 50mg might alleviate some of my nighttime issues (panic). He asked how much relief the 25mg of Sertraline was giving me and I told him about 40-60%, depending. Possibly it is more close to 60 on a good day, considering I should be about running in the streets crazy, considering my family situation right now. So, he's hoping 50mg will get me to 90% better.

We'll see.

I miss having my wine. I mean I've had wine and I've had a beer here and there. But I miss having significantly more than that. I know that sounds kind of disgusting, maybe. But I thoroughly enjoy sitting around with friends, food and a few bottles of wine. Not to say that is impossible, but I haven't tried yet. I wanted to level out my meds first.

Additionally, I'm concerned about the weight loss part. So many people have difficulty losing weight - and even gaining. I'm hoping I don't. That might be a make or break deal for me.

Day 10

Contrary to my last post, still on 25mg. Not inclined to bump up anymore. I mean I am because I fear that 25mg isn't enough. But I'm not because if I can find enough relief at a smaller dosage, I'm all for it.

One of the times I took Sertraline, I started out right at 50mg. Not good. Felt like crap, falling asleep at my desk at work. Insomnia. Felt wired, but tired at the same time. Possible?

At 25mg I don't feel that. I feel pretty normal. Slightly less "wheel turning" going on in my head. Still able to feel emotions. Still able to function. But I do have to say the first week was actually better than this second one. I don't know why. Possibly that means I need to bump up, but possibly it means that I need to just hang in and give it more time.

I'd like to move away from the Clonazepam and see how it is for me after doing that. I feel kind of spacey after taking it for a while now. So I might touch base with my doctor and see what his thoughts are.

I'm starting to worry about weight-gain and inability to lose weight. My hope was that the Sertraline would take the edge off of my emotions so that I wasn't emotional eating so much. My fear (from what I've read) is that it will decrease my metabolism to that of a slug and not matter what I do I won't be able to lose weight.

But that's a worry I don't need to worry about right now, right? So I'll try not to.