Day... I don't know

January 4th was Day 1. I don't know what day this would be, but it is now almost April 1st. So, approximately 2 months of taking Zoloft (Sertraline) so far. I've been taking it at the .25 dosage, with the addition of Klonipin (Clonazepam) whenever I need it. That fluctuates.

So far, I've been pretty content with how the Sertraline is working. I have relief, but I still feel like me. But I don't have the "level of relief" my doctor was looking for and he suggested I try bumping up to the prescribed base dosage.

I was hesitant, but then I also figure I have my foot in the water, I might as well get wet. If I don't like it, I'll get out and dry off.

As much as I lean on my anxiety as my main "issue" he said he was looking at the depression component as a significant issue as well. But, I walk, talk, fulfill duties, get some joy out of life... how can I be depressed.

He said I was stoic, and was able to put up a good front, wasn't crying, but still. My lack of joy at times when I should be joyful was one of the tip offs. Among others that I can't remember enough to name. All I know is as he talked I realized he was right. I also realized he's a psychiatrist and the prescribe meds. I hate how so many of them have never been on those meds that they prescribe.

My mind really doesn't want to take these things. I'd rather drink for some reason. At least people have been drinking for years and years and you know what it does to them. The meds, not so much. Although I know, for me, I have lessened anxiety and a bit more calm. As my body allows me this I'm really working hard to change behaviorally because I really don't want to be on these meds forever. I'm really kind of scared of coming off them.

But I'm not going to worry about that right now.

I'm on my 3rd day of increase, and feel little difference. I'm not slammed with headaches like I was when I went right into a 50 dosage of the Sertraline. I guess staying on .25 for two full months before bumping has its benefits. Since that 1/2 dose did make some improvements it is fair for me to try the full dose and hope for even more significant improvement. But if there isn't, I'm going back down to the 1/2.